Ash & Flame: Season One Read online

  Dad pushed himself up to his feet and stood there, his hands out like he might fall over.

  "I-I don't understand. That's my daughter," he said, but his voice sounded so far away, even though he was only a few strides away from her. It sounded like he was on a phone, his voice tinny and distant.

  The voices hissed at her, and Emma straightened and squeezed her eyes shut. She was his daughter, no matter what the voices said, no matter how loud and insistent they got. Why would they lie to her?

  Maybe they're not lying, she thought. Maybe we're the ones telling the truth, and he's the liar.

  Emma bit her lip and glanced at her dad. She didn't think that. She couldn't think that. Maybe he was a coward. But being a coward didn’t mean he was a liar.

  The angel looked at her again, and a chill ran down the skin of her arms, the tiny hairs on the back of her neck standing on end. He lowered his spear and Emma had to squint away.

  Please don't kill me. That thought was definitely hers.

  "I do see your humanity in her, yes," the angel said. His voice made Emma's ears hurt. "But I also see the blood of the Grigori flowing through this child's veins."

  Grigori. Emma recoiled at the name. It was a bad name, a name that meant fear and anguish and pain. She couldn't define it, but she knew it, recognized what that word meant to others.

  Yes. Blood dripped from the end of her nose. Grigori-grigori-grigori.

  Emma let out a deep exhale, all that pressure on her chest suddenly eased. Her arms and legs shook, and she took a trembling step forward. She choked back a sob.

  She put her hands over her ears and squeezed. She blinked away the tears that threatened to topple over her eyelids. Maybe she was going crazy. Maybe she already was.

  Emma didn't want to have to jump. She didn't want to leave Dad alone. She knew he would be so sad that he'd stop caring, and that would be worse than anything, because he'd quit. He'd lie down and just never get up again.

  She could barely stand to see it when he got that far-off look in his eyes, because she knew what he saw, what he remembered. Only it was worse for him because he’d lost so much more than Emma had. She'd lost her mom, and her friends, but she'd been just a little girl when it had all happened and the world broke.

  Her dad had lost everything, everything in all the world, except for her. There was no one else left to take care of him.

  Kevin muttered something that Emma couldn't quite make out. He'd been nice to her after they'd first arrived and fixed up her dad, but she didn't like the way he looked at her now. The hand holding his cross clenched into a tight fist, and his dark eyes were cold and hard.

  A voice slithered in Emma's mind that she understood. It spiraled out of control, bursting at her seams, licking at her skin. So powerful, the thoughts digging at her, telling her the truth. About her, about Dad, Mom. About everything.

  Emma screamed.

  She wanted to run into Dad's arms, wanted to hear him whisper that everything was going to be fine, but she couldn't. The edge of the landing felt so hot, and she knew without question that if she stepped over the edge, it would burn her up. Like she'd take that last step, bury her foot in the white sand that covered the ground here, and she'd burst into flames.

  "Dad, I'm scared," she whispered, and this time she couldn't help it. She couldn't pretend to be brave. She started crying, tears streaming down her cheeks, and her nose beginning to run. She fell down, her knees banging painfully on the cement landing. She couldn't look the angel in the eyes, so she stared at her father instead. "Help me, Dad, please. It's not my fault."

  It wasn't Mom's fault either. But she'd jumped all the same.

  She blinked and wiped her face with her sleeve. Her eyes went wide as she saw the dark, glistening streak against the white cotton sleeve of her shirt. She pressed her fingers to her upper lip. She swallowed as she drew them back and watched the blood run down her fingers.

  Stop it. Just a little blood. She sniffed and wiped her fingers on her shirt. You're not scared.

  Sudden motion beyond the landing caught her eye. Her father pushed himself to his feet and launched himself towards Emma and the landing. Kevin shouted something and swiped at him with a giant hand, but Dad ignored him, his boots kicking up sand as he sprinted towards her. He winced with every step, and Emma's heart broke knowing how much he must hurt.

  The angel, so tall and massive, could probably have stopped him easily if he wanted to, like Dad was a gnat, but he didn't. He stared at Emma with those cold eyes for a moment, her heart racing, wondering what he was going to do. But he stepped aside, and let her father pass.

  He reached the landing and Emma's vision went dark around the edges. She tried to focus, opening her lids wide, but she felt so tired now. The voices faded and then suddenly fell silent as her father's hand wrapped around hers. She felt his fingers brush against her cheek, and one thought swirled in her mind as she let her eyes close.

  I don't want to jump.

  ▪▪▪

  This wasn't fair. Not that the world had been fair to Ren over the past few years, anything but. But as he watched Anne hover over his daughter, he was reminded again of just how useless he had become, like the cracks had finally started to show and someone would have to put him on a shelf before he took a wrong step and broke.

  Anne sat on a corner of the bed and leaned over Emma, a damp cloth pressed against her forehead. She did what Ren felt he should be doing, only, he was too busy pacing beside his bed, wondering how he could make her better. Wondering what would happen if she got worse. If he got worse.

  "Look, I think she'll be fine," Anne said. She left the cloth on Emma's forehead and rose to her feet. "She's breathing normally, and I don't think she has much of a fever. The bleeding's stopped, and her pupils look good."

  She crossed her arms over her chest. "Look, it’s not like we can get an x-ray, or an MRI. But I just think she got freaked out when that bird hit. Is that enough for you to stop pacing now?"

  Ren shook his head and felt the rueful half-smile spread across his lips. "You didn't see it, Anne. You didn't hear that angel call my daughter a demon. You didn't see that bastard Kevin's eyes when he called her the same, or watch as he wrapped his big goddamn hand around that pendant of his."

  And she couldn't have known this wasn't the first time Emma had freaked out. Not the first time her eyes had gone vacant, blood pouring from her nose, or she'd heard whispering voices in her head. Certainly not the first time Ren had nearly lost it, waiting for the time to come, when Emma wouldn't come back from one of her episodes.

  Not that he would ever admit that. Not out loud, at least.

  He looked at the peaceful, sleeping face of his daughter. "So, no, Anne, I'm not convinced that that's enough."

  It wasn't Anne's fault, and he knew he should apologize. Of everyone here at this compound, she had been the most helpful, and she genuinely seemed to care about his daughter. It was wrong of him to lash out at her, when the people he should be lashing out at were outside.

  No, not wrong. Cowardly.

  Ren sat down heavily on his bed, the springs creaking under his sudden weight. He sighed and ran a hand over his face, the stubble on his cheeks rough against his fingers. "I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that."

  "No, I didn't." Anne shook her head. She moved towards the door and paused, her hand on the knob. "But I understand. She's your daughter, and it's your job to protect her, no matter what."

  A job that I've been failing at, thank you very much. Miserably.

  The door clicked as Anne twisted the knob. "But who's going to protect you, Ren?"

  She swung the door open, and Kevin stood there in the doorway. His form blocked the sunlight, a frown on his face.

  "That's a really good question," he said. He nodded at Anne, and stepped inside the room. The big man glanced down at Emma and then fixed his attention on Ren. "And that's why I'm here. Ithuriel has asked to see you."

  "Um, right now?" Ren asked. "Can't
this wait until I know my girl is okay? She hasn't even woken up yet."

  "Nope, 'fraid not," Kevin said, shaking his head. "I'm not about to go back down there and tell an eight-foot-tall angel that you said no. You want to tell him maybe later? You can tell him yourself."

  He motioned towards the open door. "Let's go."

  Ren wanted to walk over, stand right in front of Kevin, and tell him hell no. That as soon as Emma came to, they'd be leaving. That he'd rather make his own way, without others dictating what he would do. That his daughter was no fucking demon.

  But a part of him wanted to believe that the angel, Ithuriel, might be able to help him. Even if that meant convincing himself of the truth. Something was wrong with his daughter, and Ren couldn't help her.

  And besides, Ren couldn't say no. Saying no would give Kevin the excuse he needed. Not because Ren was afraid to say no.

  Liar.

  He blew out a breath and pushed himself off the bed. "Anne, I'm sorry to ask so much of you, but do you mind staying here with Emma until I get back?"

  "Of course," Anne nodded. "I'll keep an eye on her, Ren, don't you worry."

  Ren strode to the other bed and leaned over Emma. He ran his fingers through her hair, and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. He had to resist the urge to wrap her up in his arms.

  He stood and walked towards the door, pausing long enough to put his hand on Anne's shoulder. He gave it a gentle squeeze. "Thanks, Anne."

  "Anne, I've got Brad stationed outside," Kevin said. "If you need anything at all, you just holler, and he'll be right here."

  She smiled, and Ren hurried through the doorway with Kevin a step behind. Let's get this over with, he thought. The door shut behind them with a quiet click.

  Another man stood on the platform, to the side of the door. He wore the same desert fatigues as most of the guards Ren had seen here. Though not as towering or muscled as Kevin was, the man was tall and lean. He had curly dark hair, the goatee that framed his mouth streaked with gray. He had a rifle slung over his shoulder, one hand on the grip.

  Ren recognized him. He was the one who'd walked beside him when Ren had snapped out of his fevered dreams, after the demons. He'd been the one to tell Ren that his daughter was okay.

  He nodded towards the man, who smiled and gave him a quick salute as Ren and Kevin walked down the ramp.

  "So, that's Brad?" Ren asked. "I remember him from when you brought me and Emma in here." He kept his focus forward, refusing to look back over his shoulder at the man who'd threatened his daughter. He felt the giant man's bulk behind him, like a shadow that loomed over him.

  "Yep, that's Brad. He's a good guy, great scavenger," Kevin said. There was a short pause. "He's Blessed, just like me. Any trouble, he'll be able to handle it."

  Ren stopped at the unspoken threat and spun around to face Kevin. He felt his face flush as he pointed into the big man's face. Fear or anger, he didn't know which. Maybe a bit of both. "Listen, I don't know what the hell I did to you, and right now I don't fucking care. But if you're going to keep threatening me and my daughter, you'd best toss me out of this hole you call home right now and get it over with."

  Kevin bared his teeth, and took a menacing step forward. "What you did? You know how long it took us to build this place? Know how many hours, and how much blood we spilled? Do you know what we lost pulling you out of the fire?"

  Ren opened his mouth. What we lost?

  "No, you don't," Kevin continued. "I've lost my family, lost friends, and this place is my home now. I would die to protect any of my own here. And you and your half-demon kid? You're not a part of that."

  He pushed Ren backwards, and Ren almost stumbled, catching his hand on the rail. He winced as flecks of chipped paint and rust dug into the skin of his palm.

  "So get a fucking move on before I take you up on that offer of yours."

  Ren's hand trembled on the rail. He thought maybe the ramp was shaking, and realized with a hint of embarrassment that the only things shaking were his legs. He swallowed the lump in his throat, and turned back towards the bottom of the ramp. Probably a better move to not push his luck right now, so he kept his mouth shut and started back down the ramp, his hand burning.

  Kevin guided him past the squat building a short distance to the west. He called out to the man standing guard on the roof, a thick-set man with an even thicker beard. The guard tipped his ball cap, and watched as Kevin and Ren strode by. Ren could feel the itch of the man's eyes on his back, the hairs on his neck standing on end.

  They walked on, Kevin leading them towards the massive bulk of the dome, sunlight glittering off the sharply angled surface.

  What we lost? Except Kevin hadn't meant what, had he?

  The question lingered, burning in Ren's mind until he had no choice but to blurt it out. He winced, wondering if it might set Kevin off again, but he had to know.

  "You meant who you lost, didn't you?"

  Kevin nodded and kept walking, his face a stony mask.

  Ren sighed and rifled his fingers through his hair. He followed a step behind, the thought running through his head, like someone had asked him a question in a foreign language. Someone had died for him, had died for Em.

  The idea that he would be worth anyone's sacrifice stunned him, let alone a complete stranger. He didn't feel worth it. But then it was too late to say no, wasn't it?

  Kevin stopped and rubbed his nose.

  "His name was Jackson. He was a good man. A good...soldier."

  "Look, I'm...I'm sorry." Ren's gaze fell to the sand at his feet. "I didn't—"

  "Barely a man," Kevin continued, cutting Ren off. He stared ahead at the dome, his jaw set. "Kid was only seventeen. Only so many of us left, and we lose a young kid, a Blessed, like that."

  Kevin glanced back over his shoulder. His eyes had gone soft. "Was it worth it?" He sniffed and turned back towards the dome without waiting for an answer, his boots kicking up dirt.

  Ren no longer had much doubt as to why Kevin had been so hard on him earlier. Not much blame, either.

  The closer they got to the dome, the more massive it became. The sun shone over Ren's back, the angled sections of the dome gleaming under the midday sun like sparks, jumping and dancing across the broken surface. Even with its low profile, the structure dominated the compound, easily two- or three-hundred feet across, and several stories high at its peak. Railed pipe ran from an opening on the upper half of the dome, stretching away overhead until it ended at the guard building near Ren's temporary home.

  Large dump trucks lined one side of the dome, rust and dirt overpowering the yellow paint. One had been tipped over on its side, the undercarriage pitted and torn apart.

  "Not so sure I'm ready for this," Ren whispered, his nerves jumping as he peered up at the enormous face of the dome.

  Kevin flashed the ghost of a smile.

  "Little word to the wise, Ren. Ithuriel, he can read you, can read all of us, like an open book," Kevin said as they neared a large door inset at the base of the structure. "He'll find out what he needs to know, and it won't matter if you try and hide it or not. So don't."

  Kevin grunted and swung the door open, his arms straining. He held the latch and motioned for Ren to head inside.

  Ren bit down on the urge to take off, his fingers twitching into a fist. He blew out a low breath and strode towards the door before his courage failed him, his heart hammering against his ribs.

  "Remember what I said," Kevin said, nodding as Ren ducked past him. "For your own good."

  "I will." Ren cringed at the meek, halting sound of his voice. He told himself it wasn't his fault. How many people could meet face-to-face with an angel and not be half-terrified?

  But then Kevin shut the door behind him, leaving Ren in a half-lit gloom that stretched across the massive chamber, pockets of sunlight streaking across, and he realized he wasn't half-terrified at all.

  No, completely was the word for it.

  ▪▪▪

&nb
sp; Emma's eyes slowly opened, her vision a dull, confusing haze, before gradually coming into focus. She was back in her room, lying on her bed, something damp on her forehead. She listened, hoping she couldn't hear anything, hoping the voices were gone. Even just for now, that would be enough. A part of her knew she would always have them talking to her at the wrong time, that she'd never completely lose those whispers.

  But for now she couldn't hear them. She let out a relieved sigh.

  "Finally awake, Emma?"

  Emma's breath caught in her throat, and she sat up, her heart racing, looking to see who else was in the room. A washcloth fell into her lap, and she let out a nervous laugh as she spotted Anne sitting on the other bed. "Scared me half to death, Anne!"

  Anne leaned forward, her forearms resting on her knees, and smiled. "Sorry about that, Emma. I didn't mean to scare you."

  Emma paused, her eyes scanning the room. Someone was missing. "Where's my Dad?"

  "He went to go talk to Kevin and some of the others. Don't worry, he should be back soon."

  "Okay." Emma nodded. She thought it was a little weird, him being gone like this. Maybe that was just her, though. Maybe she was so used to waking up with him close by that, when he suddenly wasn’t, it was like a piece of her had gone missing. Like something must have gone terribly wrong just because he wasn't there.

  "Here, take a drink for me," Anne said, bringing over a small cup of water from the crate that leaned against the wall. She sat down next to Emma and lifted the cup to her lips. "It'll make you feel better."

  Emma didn't need to be fed anymore. Hadn't needed anyone to hold a cup for her since before she could even remember. And she didn't need it now.

  "I've got it." She took the cup from Anne's hand, and took a long gulp. Her eyes closed contentedly as the cool water slid down her throat. She finished it off, and handed Anne the empty cup, along with the damp cloth lying on her sheet. "Thank you."

  Anne took the cup and tossed the cloth inside. Her smile took Emma by surprise, something different, hard-edged in her penetrating gaze. A knowing look. Emma's skin crawled, like insects swarmed over her, tiny legs frantically seeking purchase.